Burnout's Silver Lining

To me, burnout always seemed a likely side effect of getting ahead. By sheer determination, I thought I could "win" against it or at the very least coexist with it.



I see now how bad it was. I was a workaholic -- checking emails in bed before my eyes had fully opened, thinking first of work before my family and my health. I was totally one-dimensional.



With that workaholism came a bunch of other -aholisms: I was a shopaholic, my saving and spending habits totally flippant. I was a foodaholic, with terrible workout and eating patterns -- yoyoing from intense structure to total binges. And I was likely an alcoholic, having no healthy outlet for my stress.



I witnessed my burnout and convinced myself I could live with it; it was a necessary side effect to a stable job with status. See, my burnout wasn't "real." That was Hillary Clinton and Arianna Huffington passing out, their bodies forcing a timeout. To me, those were extreme cases of extremely successful people.



I was delusional.



Had it not been for a move across the globe, I may not have made the changes that saved me from being consumed by my job and unhealthy lifestyle. Many of us need a slap upside the head in order to change. Otherwise we'd keep pushing forward in a steady state of burnout.



Catching your burnout is a gift that'll show you a better way. The silver lining to my burnout was two-fold:



1. The Glorification of Busy



Burning out highlighted my false expectation that to be successful I had to constantly feel pulled in every direction.



Truth is, busy doesn't signify power, greatness or success. It's simply the way we've set up our lives in an attempt to "do it all." The most enlightened people know that to find and sustain success, they have to say no.



2. Success Is an Inside Job



I learned that outward success can't be sustained without working on my inner wellbeing first.



We're constantly searching for the Holy Grail, this place we'll get to one day that'll lead to total happiness and fulfillment. This is so far off. There's no title, amount of money, or time when everything will fall into place. When we can finally exhale. We need to learn to make ourselves happy with our lives now. Otherwise, what's it all for?



If you've recognized an addiction to your work, the one-sidedness of your life and the exhaustion you're living with, not to fear. There's an easy way to come back from burnout:



Mindset shift



Changing your experience is a choice. Imagine watching yourself as a character in a scary movie. You see her walking through her dark house toward danger. What would you warn her against? What would you shake her and tell her to avoid? With burnout as the danger, give yourself that same advice. Decide to live differently.



Reflection



Think about who you want to be versus what you want to be. My mentor says, no one reads your resume at your eulogy. Who do you want to be remembered as?



Make your goal happiness and wellbeing rather than money, recognition, title, or power. Showing up as your best self, in your zone, is how you find happiness in the present.



You'll notice yourself in that zone as a feeling of being energized and focused without much effort; where time flies. Pay attention to how it feels and when it shows up (in your personal or work life) -- our purpose is to create more experiences where you can be in your zone.



Own Your Assumptions



What do you believe is necessary in order to be successful? Get honest with yourself. Many times these show up as thought patterns: ____ needs to happen in order for ____ to happen (to make more money/feel stable in my job/make a change/be happy). Facing your assumptions can help you see the choice you have in living them or not.



Also, learn to flex your "no" muscle. In order to avoid being busy for busy's sake, eliminate any false expectations of what you should do. Right now, remove one should from your calendar.



Get Uncomfortable



If living in a state of burnout is your norm, you'll need to break habits and change a few addictive behaviors. Start small with technology. Try completely unplugging for 30 minutes a day -- no screens. You can work your way up to two hours a night or even up to a full day of tech detox as necessary. Use this time to meditate, to focus on the present, on stillness or on the people physically in your presence.



Treat Yourself



What would relax or reinvigorate you? An extra 30 minutes of sleep, a massage, a night out with your partner, an early morning run? Whatever it is, schedule it. Protect your health and wellbeing as you would someone you love. If you do nothing else, at the very least, sleep more!



Listen, the world won't end if you take time for yourself or don't respond to email instantly -- you won't get fired and business won't collapse. These small changes will lead you to a greater, more mindful level of success; one you'll be able to sustain long term.



In the end, burnout has a silver lining. It's a warning that we need to heed. Luckily, it isn't inevitable, and it's not hard to come back from. In fact, it's totally optional.



You don't have to trade in your success in order to avoid burnout. You simply have to decide to get there differently.



So I ask you, what assumptions do you have about success? Where can you work more within your sweet spot? Let us know in the comments below!



Anne Omland is a Leadership & Career Development Expert dedicated to helping women define their leadership style and use it to create meaningful success. She specializes in 2 distinct forms of career development: millennial women navigating corporate life and emerging female leaders looking to develop their leadership style. Her in-demand offering Discover Your Signature Style is a leadership assessment tool that helps you find where power and potential meet: think Buzzfeed survey meets personality test meets career advice. Click here to get started!



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Beyond 'HIV Status': Interface Design Is Personal at SCRUFF

In the 25 years since the first World AIDS Day, we have made great strides in the treatment and prevention of HIV. During this time, the advent of the Internet has also transformed how gay guys meet one another. Despite these advances, our community is still struggling with how to communicate about HIV and how to treat those who are HIV positive. This is especially evident in the way we are accustomed to asking guys to disclose HIV status online, which has remained largely unchanged since the advent of profile-based websites over 20 years ago.



Gay guys have been connecting online since the late 1980s. What began as dial-up bulletin board services gave way to IRC channels and "m4m" chat rooms on AOL. Profile-based websites like Manhunt and Adam4Adam soon followed, and were the preferred medium for over a decade. Today, location-based smartphone apps are ascendant, used daily by millions of guys to chat, date and hook up.



As Founding Partner and head of product at SCRUFF, one of the world's largest online gay communities, I have the great privilege of contributing to the design of features that improve the way guys connect. One of the first features our members requested after we launched in 2010 was the ability to disclose HIV status in their profiles. Before moving forward, we wanted to be sure we got it right. My personal experiences with this question, coupled with current opinions in public health, revealed numerous hazards with the way it is customarily done.



Until recently, disclosure in online profiles has taken one basic form: "HIV Status." Most profile-based services present this question along with a rigid list of status options, including "Positive," "Negative" and "Ask Me." The option selected is then prominently displayed on a user's profile alongside other biographical data like height, age and ethnicity.



The simplicity of the question and its answers conceal several serious issues. For "Poz" guys uncomfortable disclosing status in their profile, "HIV Status" presents a fraught choice: to answer "Negative" would be dishonest, but any other answer -- including no answer -- is often interpreted by other users as a tacit disclosure. It's also a problem for HIV negative guys searching for the same. Seeing "Negative" presented next to other profile "stats" conveys a false sense of permanence.



Unlike a guy's height or ethnicity, a "Negative" status can change overnight.



Even when "HIV Status" information is presented along with the date of a guy's last test (as some apps allow), it still fails as substitute for a frank discussion about his safer sex practices since that date.



And what is the effect of "HIV Status" for the online community as a whole? Bad.



When most of the profiles on a site say "Negative," it unconsciously reinforces the sense that HIV negativity is the only acceptable social norm, and inadvertently stigmatizes guys who are Poz.



"HIV Status," and the faith we place in seeing "Negative" in a profile, are symptomatic of the paradoxical relationship our community now has with HIV: On one hand, we're no longer collectively afraid of dying of AIDS, as years of data showing a decline of consistent condom use shows.



On the other, our community remains collectively terrified of the perceived social repercussions of being HIV positive. This terror is a toxic remnant from a time of crisis, when our understanding of the virus that causes AIDS was limited, and the prognosis for those who contracted it was dire. It drives too many of us to cling to "Negative," "clean" and "disease-free" as badges of honor. The exclusory expectation that "UB2" belies a notion that being "Negative" is somehow morally superior, and that HIV infection is somehow due punishment for the "sins" of non-monogamy or imperfect condom use.



The dilemmas presented by "HIV Status" aren't just academic: For most of my gay life, I struggled with a profound fear of contracting HIV. I was the guy who dreaded the "HIV Status" prompt when filling out profiles. I was the guy who'd use a condom yet still panic the next time I caught a cold. I was the guy who put off getting tested for years because a positive result would disappoint my family and alienate my friends more than I could bear.



Relentless fear and inhibition eventually drove me to experience what public health experts refer to as "prevention fatigue". On several occasions, I allowed myself to make decisions (usually after a few drinks) informed only by having seen "Negative" next to "HIV Status" in the other guy's online profile. This led me to at least one major scare (even as my profile stated that I was "clean").



And yet, I was also the guy who would shake his head in quiet judgment upon learning that someone was HIV positive.



A lot has changed since then. Years of life experience, and going on PrEP, have finally allowed me to move past my HIV-phobia. Since then, I've dated and hooked up with guys who are Poz, and I've never felt more confident and empowered about my sex life and health.



What I learned on my journey heavily informed our thinking as we deliberated on how to do a better job with HIV status disclosure in SCRUFF.



In 2013, we added "Poz" to the list of communities with which a member on SCRUFF can identify. It is visible on profiles and can be used as a filter to find other guys who identify as Poz. In addition, guys can indicate that they are "into" various communities. This allows guys to be welcoming to Poz members, whether or not they are Poz themselves.



Allowing Poz members to disclose their status in this way reinforces the fact that they are not alone in their HIV-positivity, and gives them a community of other Poz guys to connect with. Additionally, those who prefer to discuss status privately are spared the fraught choice that old designs imposed. And by not presenting "Negative" status information, we avoid facilitating risky assumptions, or fostering an environment conducive to HIV stigma.



We must move beyond "HIV Status" and the stigma it symbolizes because the consequences of HIV stigma go far beyond hurt feelings. The fear and shame caused by stigma discourage honest discussions about safer sex, and deters many from knowing their status. Here's the way I think of it: Stigma leads to shame, shame leads to silence and silence leads to new infections.



We need to do better. Our approach to disclosure is a small, first step. It won't be our last.



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Exercise in a Bottle: Nestle's Quick 2.0

The idea of finding the benefits of exercise in a bottle has been the stuff of myth, until now. Recent research suggests this long sought genie may be out of the bottle.



You must wonder which Nobel Prize-filled laboratory could have had the brain power, the creativity, the technology, much less the funding to do such magical science. Well, this remarkable work was performed at the NIH. No, not that NIH (National Institutes of Health). The NIH that brought you previous breakthroughs such as Juicy Juice, Hot Pockets, and Goobers. The other NIH, Nestle Institute of Health, of course.



Yes, scientists at Nestle, the largest food company in the world, published their work in the journal Chemistry and Biology on Nov. 24. Kei Sakamoto's research team in Switzerland demonstrated how a compound (C13) could activate a master metabolic control switch, AMP-activated protein kinase (AMPK). AMPK activation inhibits fat production in the liver and increases the body's capacity to burn sugar.



This is good news for the elderly and those with disabilities that preclude the possibility of physical activity. Of course the much larger potential market of simply sedentary people represents the sweet spot for such a product. This could also be viewed as good news insofar it might help stem the tide of the obesity and Type 2 diabetes epidemics.



I can already hear the ad campaigns for this AMPK activator: "Get AMPed," "AMP Up," "AMP or CRAMP," "My dude may be a couch potato but he's AMPed."



But for those who think you finally can have your cake and eat it too, slow down. Such a compound, even if it works as well in humans as mice and doesn't have pages of side effects, will never deliver what good, old fashioned physical activity does.



Just sayin'.



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Mobile Care For People Living With HIV

The humidity was thick in the HIV clinic in Dadar (East) Mumbai, as a team of researchers met with Sushma (alias used) and her family. She was in the 11th month of a year-long trial to test whether receiving reminders on a mobile phone would help her to remain healthy by taking her medicine and managing the virus. Standing proudly before the team, she said, "My weight has increased from 42 kg to 56 kg."

When the researchers turned to her son-in-law, he looked down as he wrung his hands and then collected himself. Finally he said, "Before she went into the trial, she was normally in bed and we had to take care of her. Now, she is more active around the house and takes care of us."

As we mark the 26th anniversary of World AIDS Day today, Sushma's experience points to a promising way to improve the lives of people living with HIV.

Though medication to manage HIV is available and increasingly affordable, many people living with the virus continue to die each year. Research has pointed to several reasons, especially among people living in areas with few resources. These include intolerable side effects, a misunderstanding of what the virus is and how to treat it, running out of pills, lack of motivation or because they simply forget. Quite a few of the challenges stem from a lack of information and understanding.

Health care practitioners and others face several questions: How can we systematically reach people with information and encourage behavior changes in a confidential, consistent and caring way? Are there tools or ways to address the issues people face in adhering to their schedules?

In 2008, Janssen R&D, the Indian Institute of Technology, Bombay, Grameen Foundation and a number of Indian HIV experts, began exploring this issue in India, where more than 2.4 million people are living with HIV. Our platform, called TAMA (Treatment Advice by Mobile Alerts), focuses on a solution to address the adherence challenges, using mobile phones as a two-way channel to connect with patients.

The TAMA system is designed to complement the care offered by HIV clinics. Using interactive voice response (IVR), it provides a variety of services and information directly to patients, including recording and tracking their adherence to medication schedules, reminders for upcoming appointments, and short audio messages on HIV related information spanning from nutrition, lifestyle advice or family dynamics. Patients can also call into TAMA to report symptoms, receive personalized instructions, or connect directly with their doctor.

Understanding Impact

From the beginning, the plan was to launch TAMA within a clinical randomized control trial to measure the impact of the technology in improving the adherence levels to the HIV medication. As such, TAMA is now available in clinics in nine states of India. Prior to launching the trial, a pilot study was conducted to evaluate the effect of TAMA in a real-life setting.

Results from the pilot confirmed that TAMA was on to something. Not only did we receive positive results and desirable effects, but we also learned vital information on how to improve and expand the services and content being offered. Participants claimed improved adherence, timeliness in taking medication and changes in lifestyle. Encouragingly, participants requested more information pertaining to HIV and anti-retroviral therapy to be included.The most reassuring feedback was that most people wanted to continue using TAMA after the pilot. The doctors involved in the study were surprised to see the popularity of health tips and the interest for even more information despite the extensive counseling already provided by the doctors themselves. As one patient put it, "When I use TAMA, it feels like I am in touch with my HIV clinic."

The Way Forward

TAMA is a promising tool to support patients like Sushma in remembering to take their HIV medication. With the support of TAMA she has taken back control of her health by actively managing her adherence. Sushma is not alone -- there are over 35 million living with HIV globally. We owe it to these patients to better understand how technology can affect their health, and then to make sure it can be accessed by them, in India and elsewhere around the world. Plans are in place to launch TAMA more broadly in India, to allow access to a similar tool in Africa, and to expand to other disease areas, such as tuberculosis.

Learn more about how TAMA is helping people living with HIV in India:









Grameen Foundation is a partner of Cisco CSR. Cisco sponsors The Huffington Post's ImpactX section.



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Alleviating Anxiety: Bowing Down to the Breath

Photo by Ralf Kunze



I wake with something akin to a full impact collision. When I check my clock, I see that it's 4:45 in the morning. In the space of 30 seconds, my mind has turned from dream state to checklists, my heartbeat jumping from resting to I've-just-sprinted-up-four-flights-of-stairs. My skin begins tingling and then itching, mostly in my forearms, my neck and face. These are the warning signs I've honed in on ever since I had my first (and still, thankfully, only) anxiety attack over eight months ago. I lie back on my pillows, close my eyes, and focus on my breathing.



It is the season of giving thanks, and I find myself acknowledging a great many things in my life: people and experiences too special to call anything but gifts. But it is also a season of busyness and stress, of impending year-end deadlines and holiday gatherings, of adjustment to winter and dark days, and more often than not, I find myself grateful for one thing above all else: my breath.



When I say "breath" here, I do not mean just that I am thankful to be alive, to "still be breathing" as so many of our grandparents were fond of saying. I mean, rather, that I am thankful to have learned the right tools to bring some peace to my body in place of anxiety, to know the power of mindful breath, of our ability to mediate our experiences and bring ourselves into the present moment through this simple, beautiful act.



In bed alone in the dark, I begin the breath retention exercise I will be leading later this week in my first experience as a yoga teacher: inhale for five seconds, hold for five seconds, exhale for five seconds. Repeat. When I seal my lips I can feel and hear my heart beating against my bones. I continue counting. My rhythms slow. Eight months ago, I was overcome by a similar experience; this morning, breath by breath, I become sovereign of myself.



In his talk "Being Peace," Thich Nhat Hahn says:

Let us smile and enjoy our breathing as we go on ... breathing in I calm body and mind, breathing out, I smile ... the smile can relax hundreds of muscles on your face and relax your nervous system and make you master of yourself.

I tend to listen to Thich while commuting to work or driving in traffic -- times that create a lot of tension, when I'm worrying over whether I'll get there in time, wherever "there" may be. In yoga practice, my teacher Pete reminds us to come back to our breath, to our bodies, leaving the worries over the future or the past behind us.



"This sacred moment right now will never be the same," Pete said in a class yesterday evening. "The way you feel right now, the person practicing next to you..." he says, "You will never have this moment again."



Our anxiety arises out of fear, fear of the hypothetical future. One of my favorite reminders comes from my friend Julie's mom, who says, "95 percent of your worries never come to pass. The other 5 percent you'll never see coming," and how right she is.



Thich continues, "We can't be alive in the future -- it's not now. We tend to postpone being alive to a distant future ... be here and now; the only moment to be alive is the present moment."



With that, I rise up out of bed, pull on my clothes, and drive down through the dark for our early morning yoga intensive. In the afternoon, I practice teaching the breath retention exercise to my fellow trainees. Sitting on my mat, I ask the class to bring their hands to their hearts and close their eyes, grateful for this moment, for this community, for the connection of this audible breath rolling through the studio.



"If you do nothing else besides sit here and breath this entire next hour," I say, "then your yoga has begun." And then we bow; the teaching has begun.



--



For more from Jenine, check out her blog or find her on Facebook.



She's currently part of Pete Guinosso's Lighting the Path Yoga Teacher Training at Yoga Tree in the San Francisco Bay Area.



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What Does It Mean to Be a Board-Certified Sleep Specialist?

By Brandon R. Peters, M.D.



Health care can be a complicated and convoluted endeavor. From the perspective of a patient, it can be downright bewildering. It's even hard to determine the role of your caregiver at times. There are a lot of credentials thrown around these days. Some health care providers seem to have more letters after their names than letters in their names. It may be difficult to sort out the training and authority of your provider, a term itself that lumps together physicians with other trained professionals. In the realm of sleep, it can be helpful to explore the meaning of some commonly used descriptors and how they have changed over the years to ensure that you get the care that you need.



Starting at the top, your physician must undergo years of training and education to become a licensed medical doctor. After obtaining a four-year undergraduate degree from a college or university, he or she went on to another four years of medical school. Depending on their area of specialization, doctors complete residency (a mix of education and on-the-job training) that lasts at least an additional three or four years. Fellowship training, which is now required to become a board-certified sleep medicine physician, lasts an additional one year (with a few academic programs tacking on a second research year) (1). If you are keeping score: That's often 12 to 15 years of training on average!



Due to the multidisciplinary nature of the practice, sleep medicine physicians can have diverse primary specialty training. Many sleep specialists train in pulmonary medicine, neurology, and psychiatry. Some are trained otorhinolaryngologists (ear, nose, and throat specialists), anesthesiologists, and even surgeons. Less commonly, physicians trained in family or internal medicine and pediatrics can also go on to complete a fellowship in sleep (1).



Prior to and up until 2011, fellowship training in sleep medicine was not required to seek board certification. Rather, interested physicians (and even psychologists) could pay a fee and sit for the examination. If they passed, they received credentialing indicating their status as "board-certified." More recently, these exams have shifted to six other medical board societies and it is now not possible for a physician to take the examination without formal fellowship training (1).



Does fellowship training make a difference? Based on the results of the 2011 sleep medicine certification exam, it would seem that it does. Only 65 percent of the 2,913 candidates who took the board examination passed. For those who completed fellowship training in sleep medicine, the new requirement for everyone entering the field, the pass rate was over 90 percent (2).



Why does fellowship training matter? Dedicating a full year of one's life to education and training in the subspecialty of sleep medicine enhances knowledge, increases experience, and ensures the quality of care provided is maximized. It provides a structured learning environment in which specific standards of care are upheld. Research time and time again has demonstrated that board-certified sleep specialists deliver a higher level of care with this additional training (3). Moreover, Medicare and other insurance providers require sleep study interpretations by these trained specialists (4).



Physicians don't do it alone, and this adds to the complexity of care in some clinics and sleep centers. Midlevel providers such as physician assistants and nurse practitioners frequently provide supervised care. Psychologists (those with Ph.D. and Psy.D. credentials) may manage insomnia with therapy. Nurses and respiratory therapists may also have a role, especially in the management of continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) equipment. There are also medical assistants who prepare patients by taking vital signs and reviewing documentation. Within the testing facility, you may also encounter polysomnographic technologists (some of whom also pass certification exams to become registered techs) (5). It's a diverse collection of professionals, and with communication, collaboration, and proper training the experience for patients can be optimized.



How do you know if your physician completed a fellowship and board certification in sleep medicine? You can start by asking prior to scheduling your first visit. Many clinics and groups also have websites that provide detailed biographies of their providers, including relevant sleep medicine fellowship training. You can also find the diplomates of the American Board of Sleep Medicine listed online by last name, with Ph.D. diplomates listed separately (6). Keep in mind that those certified prior to 2012 may not have completed fellowship training in sleep medicine.



It is worth learning a little about the credentials of your sleep medicine specialist. If you struggle to sleep well, start by finding a board-certified sleep medicine physician with formal fellowship training near you. You want to ensure that they are well-qualified to provide you the evaluation and treatment that you deserve.



Sources:



1. "Current State of the Sleep Medicine Specialty Examination for Physicians and PhDs." American Board of Sleep Medicine. Last accessed: November 24, 2014.



2. Quan, SF et al. "Development and growth of a large multispecialty certification examination: sleep medicine certification--results of the first three examinations." J Clin Sleep Med. 2012 Apr 15;8(2):221-4.



3. Parthasarathy, S et al. "A multicenter prospective comparative effectiveness study of the effect of physician certification and center accreditation on patient-centered outcomes in obstructive sleep apnea." J Clin Sleep Med. 2014 Mar 15;10(3):243-9.



4. "Coding FAQ." American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Last accessed: November 24, 2014.



5. "Board of Registered Polysomnographic Technologists." Last accessed: November 24, 2014.



6. "Verification of Diplomates of the American Board of Sleep Medicine." American Board of Sleep Medicine. Last accessed: November 24, 2014.



Brandon R. Peters, M.D., is the writer on sleep for About.com, a neurology-trained sleep medicine specialist in Novato, Calif., and consulting assistant professor at the Stanford Center for Sleep Sciences and Medicine. This Center is the birthplace of sleep medicine and includes research, clinical, and educational programs that have advanced the field and improved patient care for decades. To learn more, visit us at: sleep.stanford.edu.



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Stigmatize Me, Fool

Depression.



No one wants to talk about it. Yet it's very common and affects so many people. "Shh. Don't talk about that, Lauren. People will think you're crazy."



So there's this thing called a chemical imbalance in the brain. Maybe you've heard about it? Apparently, it's called science.



Let's face it. No matter what you say, certain people will always attach a stigma to mental illness. You have a heart attack? Cool, you're covered. Insurance covers you. Your family and friends send you balloons and flowers and "Hey, get well soon."



I mean. That's great. People should care.



But you have depression? Maybe you're suicidal?



You get strange glances, awkward responses, and uncomfortable remarks. I mean, I get it. It's a prickly subject to approach. No one wants to talk about it.



But when you say things like. "But you have so much going for you! How in the world can you be so depressed?!"



That implies many things.



1. Your depression makes me uncomfortable.

2. I don't get you. This is weird.

3. You are kind of an ungrateful person. What's wrong with you?

4. I'm not sure if our friendship will be the same because now I don't know how to act.



This is all understandable. Someone who has never experienced depression (especially severe, suicidal depression) might not easily understand these things because they have never experienced them. And of course, if they love you, they mean well.



But none of these implied messages make a depressed person feel any better. How could they? We are essentially hearing: "Why are you so ungrateful?" "What's wrong with you?" "You are a weak person." "You're so negative, try a little harder." These messages do not make someone who is depressed feel any better, think more positively, or change their actions.



What is truly crazy to me is that mental illness still has such a huge stigma. Have cancer? Great, insurance will cover many of the costs and your friends and family feel okay talking about it with other people.



Have depression? Those close to you might want to keep it a secret out of embarrassment. Or because they don't want other people to judge you. Your insurance may not cover anything. In fact, some inpatient programs cost up to $50,000 per month, often not including psychological testing, certain medical services, and other additional fees. You are essentially paying what could possibly be someone's entire yearly salary for a room. For four weeks!



This is what is truly insane. How can you expect someone to get better when the financial aspect seems insurmountable? Many people who are mentally ill either do not work, do not have insurance or both. What kind of health care system is America running?



But that's another issue.



Then there's the job factor. Anyone with depression will tell you that it impacts your work performance. Depression affects you in your daily life, so how could it not? But it's not like the flu, where you can call in sick because you are physically ill. Maybe your depression has reared its ugly head one morning and you can't manage to get out of bed. You can't call your employer and say "Hey, I'm feeling sad so I won't be coming in today." I mean, you can. If you don't care how it will affect your reputation at work.



You can lie, of course. But why should you have to? It just adds to the list of stressors a depressed person has to cope with. Depression is a legitimate illness and should be treated as such. Employers may not be legally able to fire you if you tell them you have depression. But it still carries a stigma, and they could let you go for "other reasons."



The thing is, I can write this. And people might say, "Why in the world would she say this? Why not keep it to yourself?" No, I won't. Because it's something that's not my fault, something that is a legitimate health issue that America fails to deal with successfully (and really, not just America -- the world). And it is something that other people can possibly relate to and maybe help them feel a tiny bit better.



I've been severely depressed. I've been suicidal. I've done stupid things. What needs to change is the health care system and the attitudes people have about mental health. There should be no stigma. There should be support.



Some people might think, "But he/she doesn't look depressed!" Depression doesn't have a face. Depression can be your hilarious colleague from work; that supermodel on the billboard; your brother or sister who has gotten so used to hiding it that you never even knew. Us "depressees" can become quite good at pretending because society has taught us that depression is something we should be ashamed of. "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps," if you will.



How silly. No one is an island. Everyone needs help at some point. Often, the hardest part is asking for help. But it's nothing to be ashamed of. I tend to think therapy can help anyone, even those without "severe" issues. I understand that some people want to be warriors. "I don't need anyone. I can do this on my own." That's great, if it works for you. But that doesn't give you the right to judge people who do need extra help.



But what do I know? I'm just a girl with depression who is trying to navigate through life, just like everyone else. Maybe sometimes, it's just a little bit harder.



Compassion is a good thing. I try to have it for other people, no matter what they are going through. Like they say, you haven't walked in that person's shoes.



Depression isn't weakness. It's an illness. I think this message will make itself clearer as more people feel free to talk about it.



So here I am, talking about it. Stigmatize me, fool.



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