Forget Resolutions: Here Are 3 Ways to Enter the New Year Empowered

Forget New Year's resolutions! Here are three must dos to launch yourself into the new year with a sparkle!



"And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been." -- Rainer Maria Rilke



As my southern grandpa used to say, "weeee doggy", this year is almost gone, but you don't need me to remind you of that.



I'm here to tell you to hold off on those New Year's resolutions and instead, take a moment to backtrack in three ways!



But first, let me back myself up a bit.



What's been hanging over your head lately? For me, two things: a payment to my accountant, and another for my car registration.



Over the last few weeks, I couldn't think of two more un-satisfying ways to spend money, so I dragged my feet, and then I dragged them some more.



Every morning I would awake and think to myself: Okay, today I'll drop off that payment and take care of my car, but day after day I'd let them drop to tomorrow's to do list.



Then morning after morning, I'd wake with that heavy feeling of I'd better drop off that payment and take care of my car today.



When I finally accomplished both, the relief was A M A Z I N G.



So my very first suggestion for you to take before the clock strikes 2015 is to take care of that one thing you've been putting off for a while now.



Perhaps it's a phone call, an apology, a bill, a closet, or an errand.



It doesn't matter how small it actually is, because the bottom line is this: It's been hanging over your head and draining your psyche.



"Procrastination is a lot like a credit card: It's a lot of fun until you get the bill" --Christopher Parker



Next pick a drawer, glove compartment, purse or shelf that's been driving you nuts with disarray, then clean it out and put it back into order. POOF! More stress relief.



When we do the things we've been putting off, we free up our head space. What better way to start the new year than with a clear head?



Finally, take a moment to look back and reflect on what you've accomplished and done well this year, because over 365 days, you've accomplished a lot and have grown tremendously.



Have gratitude because regardless of who you are or what you do, you've grown and have accomplished a lot.



Think of it like this: When you're pulling out of an old spot you've been parked in, you've got to look in your rearview mirror before you back up right?



We've got to look back before we can look forward, and when we clean up our messes, tie up our loose ends and have gratitude for ourselves and our past- we can FLY into the new year with grace.



Now one more thing -- I wish for you a happy, healthy, abundant, love filled 2015.



Post via Tamara Star for the Elephant Journal



Photo credit: carbonated via photopin cc



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4 Ways to Keep to Your New Year's Resolutions

When we create resolutions, the intentions to do, act, or be differently, we often become very hard on ourselves. Every time we act in the old way, we berate ourselves. "Now that I am trying to change, I don't like who I am." "I am a horrible person because I can't stop doing this." "The way I have been for years is bad, nasty, and terrible." These thoughts are natural, but not helpful.



When we finally realize and begin moving toward our best person, we are often ashamed of who and how we have been. But that shame does not propel us forward. Shame is a tool which keeps us stuck. Shame makes us a victim and an awful person. As Brené Brown says, "Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be. And it's a straightjacket." I agree with Brené, and I don't think shame only holds back women. Shame is a great excuse for not moving forward. Shame tells us our goals are impossible and we should just give up. Shame takes away our power, dignity, and desire to become better.



The alternative to shame is acceptance. When we can accept who we and who we have been, we have the power to make changes. Acceptance does not necessarily mean forgiveness of what we have done, but acceptance means we acknowledge the truth of our actions. Shame keeps us from the truth as it makes us focus on an illusion of what we think we should be or should have done. We can not change illusions. We can only change the truth. By accepting the truth of who we are and who we have been, we are now empowered to make the changes we desire for the future.



There are four very simple ways to begin accepting who you are so you can move into who you want to be.



See the Truth

The first step is to look past the illusion and honestly see the truth. When I work with individuals who are trying to lose weight, the first step is for them to truly see and accept where they are. Yes, they may have 20 more pounds than they would like, but that is the truth of the situation. If they constantly think they should be different than they really are, no changes can be made. We must first accept where we are before we can make changes.



Stop Labeling

We are often our worst critics. We will tell ourselves how bad, wrong, or horrible we are. This is also not seeing the truth. When we belittle ourselves we are judging ourselves based on our perception of right and wrong. Judging also makes us stuck. We feel a powerless victim to the label. Instead, reframe your actions as being simply "helpful" or "unhelpful." This frees you to make changes as you are not creating lasting negative labels.



Love Your Shadow

We all have positive and negative aspects of ourselves. Sometimes a positive, like having a Type A personality, can become a negative when it is out of control. See yourself as a whole person with shadow and light. One cannot exist without the other. Know your shadow and work to manage it instead of sentencing yourself to unhappiness because you have a shadow.



Celebrate Your Progress

Take a moment and see where you started. Yes, you may not be where you want to be, but how far have you come? Celebrate what you have already accomplished and be grateful for your progress knowing that there is more and better to come.



This new year make your resolutions a reality by accepting the truth of where you are, stopping negative labeling, loving yourself warts and all, and celebrating your progress. In doing so, you will have more power to make your resolutions a reality and will enjoy, instead of dread, the journey. Wishing you all the best in the new year!



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5 Ways to Reclaim Your Awesomeness

You experienced a loss or a hurdle in your path and cannot seem to move beyond it. You find yourself going back to it in one way or another. That loss of your job, dissolved marriage, unattained promotion, or other hurdle seems to have a hold on you, so how do you forgive and move forward?



You start by reclaiming your awesomeness. Here, you will find five ways to help you reclaim your awesomeness. They will help you move beyond any hurdle or loss you have experienced or may experience, and even help prevent some.



Forgive



Forgiving what happened and everyone involved is most important in being able to reclaim your awesomeness and move forward. It helps you to get closure or make peace with what happened, and it also helps transform any feelings or thoughts of being powerless to empowerment. It helps you instantly feel empowered as you choose to no longer allow what happened to negatively affect you, and if something was done or said maliciously it helps to keep you from personalizing it and from allowing it to minimize your awesomeness.



Learn from what happened



There is always something to be learned about yourself from a loss or a hurdle; something such as needing to have more fun after you experience the death of a loved one, or you did not really want the promotion like you thought you did, but instead want to do something more rewarding, or you gave too much in your marriage and did not receive the same in return, which is why you did not feel happy towards the end. You usually see something that is lacking or that is not benefiting you and should be changed. Get to know what that is and make necessary adjustments, so you are able to benefit the most you can from what happened and can add to your awesomeness.



Listen to yourself



At times, the reason you find yourself not being able to move forward is because you are upset with yourself. Usually because at one point you allowed someone else's voice to become louder than yours. You prioritized what they thought, said or felt, and ignored your own intuition. You can reclaim your awesomeness by choosing to listen to yourself from this moment forward and trusting what you have to say. If your inner voice is telling you one thing, but someone else is telling you the opposite, listen to yourself. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. This will help you move forward easier, especially in any situation where you were used, manipulated or abused in any way, and help prevent it from happening in the future.



Set boundaries



Learn to say "no" and to put yourself first. Get to know what your needs, wants, likes, dislikes, values, and passions are, and prioritize yourself around them. If you are tired and do not have the energy to listen to a friend talk about her problems, put yourself first and let them know you are not available. If working on a project at work goes against who you are, say so. Doing things for you and with you in mind will help you feel important, cared for, and empowered, and it will also help you maintain your awesomeness in many ways. Helping in one way so you do not loose yourself or allow someone to hurt you by giving others more importance than yourself.



Overcome fear



Moving forward after experiencing a loss or a hurdle can be very scary. Instead of allowing fear to hold you back, reclaim your awesomeness and face it. Give yourself permission to move forward and to be happy. Be bold and do whatever you can to overcome any fears that show up... believe in yourself. Once you take the initial leap over your fear, you will be able to face others that show up with more confidence, courage and strength because you have fully reclaimed your awesomeness.



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When Hope IS a Strategy

When I woke up today, I picked up my gratitude journal and thought... what exactly do I feel grateful for? Honestly, I didn't feel great, or positive, or happy. And despite the hard work I've done and courageous decisions I've made to build my life on my terms, it wasn't there this morning. So I did a "truth check" and asked myself what, then, are you feeling? Is there gratitude, and if so for what? No sugar coating, no trying to be positive if it's not really what's going on.



What came to the surface was this. I am grateful that I haven't given up. Despite all the loss of the last few years, the seemingly endless string of mountains to climb, and boatloads of doubt and uncertainty. I have not given up. Faith and hope are still alive, and so am I. That was enough for me today.



A former business colleague of mine is famous for saying to her team, "Hope is not a strategy," and in the business world, a world led by action and logic, that sure makes a lot of sense. One cannot sit back, do nothing, and simply hope things will improve. By this path, they surely will not.



But I say hope and faith together (especially with a dusting of courage) ARE a strategy. And here's why. At the heart of faith is certainty. It is a deep seated truth we feel in our hearts despite having no logical or evidential reasons why it is or should be true. A friend recently sent me a note in which she had chosen two angels for me, faith and humor. Faith was described as "the unshakable knowing of the heart when nothing makes sense to the mind." Perfect.



It is that feeling that you are making the right decision, taking the right steps, or even choosing NOT to make a decision and standing still until the time is right, both of which take tremendous courage. It is letting yourself sink into the comfort of knowing you are in the right place, on the right path, exactly where and as you should be despite the world or others telling you otherwise. It is believing that in time all the pieces will come together, that the people you need will cross your path at the right time to bring you to a destination that could only be reached by taking these thoughtful, patient steps.



Whether you are a leading your own life, or leading others, you must have faith, or intuition, or the ability to tap into that which does not yet exist. Intuition and faith provide the vision that guides us into the unknown, and the ambiguous, with courage. Without intuition or faith, any strategy can only see what is, or as far as reports and data can inform what to safely and predictably do next. The best leaders in life, and in business, use feeling, intuition, hope and yes, even heart -- to take bold steps.



So you see, faith and hope really are a strategy. They are actions of courage against the inaction of despair and doubt, they are acts of inner strength against the hopelessness of sitting idle, they are expansive against the contracting grip of fear. And sometimes they are all you have. When hope and faith are what stand between you and giving up, and give you the support to keep going, that is one strong barricade, and that's enough of a strategy for today, and the coming year. Happy New Year!



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15 Ways to Make 2015 Your Most Successful Year Yet

Another year has come to a close. Everyone is excited for the opportunity to start fresh and find ways to improve themselves in the upcoming year. Here are the top 15 ways you can ensure you set yourself up for your most successful year yet in 2015.



1. Ditch your resolutions and make SMART goals instead. Instead of saying what you do or don't plan to do in 2015, make something concrete. SMART goals are something that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound. Actually put these goals in writing and you will be much more likely to achieve them. Better yet -- put them in writing and then make an action plan on small milestones you plan to achieve to be successful in the overall goal. Put them somewhere you can see them each day so they stay top of mind, one at home and one at the office.



2. Create a networking strategy. If you are looking for an opportunity, in reality you are looking for a person. Opportunities are tied to people. Once you determine your goals for the year, take time to think of specific people that can help you achieve each goal. Reach out to them to set a meeting and find ways to create a win-win relationship. Networking isn't just about handing out business cards, it is about building meaningful relationships that help both individuals become more successful!



3. Show more gratitude every day. One way that you can reduce stress and live a happier life is to take time every day to be thankful. Keep a gratitude journal that each morning or night you write at least one thing you are thankful for that day. It will help you focus on the positive things even when times are tough!



4. Get healthy. "Healthy" can mean a lot of different things to different people. Healthy is a lifestyle. Being physically fit has many positive performance benefits including increased productivity, improved mood, higher confidence and self-esteem, boosted energy and better sleep. Take small steps to gradually live a healthier life style -- plan meals, get a personal trainer, commit to a gym schedule -- whatever makes sense for you. Before you know it you will see the benefits of eating healthier and staying physically active!



5. Read more. In a recent Pew Research Center study it was reported that nearly a quarter of American adults had not read a single book in the past year. The number of non-book readers has nearly tripled since 1978. On the flip side, according to Nielsen statistics, the average American watches over 34 hours live TV a week plus another 3-6 hours watching taped programs. In 2015, make a commitment to read more and watch TV less. Your bank account with thank you!



6. Create a professional development plan. With the start of a new year, everyone says there are things they want to do to improve in certain areas. But, hardly any make a written plan. Take time to actually write out the action steps you will need to take to reach your goals and milestones to make sure you stay on track. How will you measure your success? Look at the larger picture -- what are your 3, 5, 10 and lifetime goals? Map out the steps you need to take this year to get yourself headed in the right direction to meet your longer term goals.



7. Learn a new skill. Try something new! Look at what programs your local technical college has to offer. There are so many interesting things to do in the world -- why stop learning once you are done with school? This will help you meet new people and open you up to new experiences and opportunities. Never stop learning.



8. Create a personal mission and vision statement. One of the biggest roadblocks people face in meeting their goals is that they don't have a clear vision of what they are trying to achieve. A vision statement defines your optimal desired future state and helps provide guidance and inspiration on what you are focused on achieving. A mission statement defines your current purpose and answers the questions what you do, who you do it for and how you do it. By creating a vision and mission statement you will clarify where you currently are and what it is you are looking to achieve in your life. This will make it easier to define the steps you need to get there.



9. Challenge yourself. It is easy to get into a routine. Get up, go to work, make dinner, go to bed. But the exciting things in life happen when you take risks and challenge yourself. Find ways as often as possible to stretch your limits. Do something difficult and if you fail, don't worry about it. More learning happens when you fail than when you succeed. Always be searching for your next adventure!



10. Plan a trip. Speaking of adventures, plan a trip for this year. It doesn't have to be something that breaks the bank. Find a creative way to visit a new place. Take lots of pictures and enjoy every minute. The greatest things in life are experiences, not material possessions. People often say they want to see a new place, but never actually take the steps to make it happen. Pick a date and get your 2015 trip on the calendar today.



11. Create a budget. It's no secret that money can be a huge stressor, both personally and in a relationship. A budget is an invaluable took to help you prioritize your spending and manage your money. You can use a simple spreadsheet or check out free online programs like Mint.com or PersonalCapital.com. Make a commitment to be more responsible about your spending and saving to set yourself up for success now and in the long term.



12. Commit to your relationship. Whether you are in a new relationship or have been with someone many years, having a strong relationship takes work. Find ways to make your partner smile, put their needs before yours and show affection as much as possible. The grass isn't greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it -- so make sure you are giving your relationship the attention it deserves and you will see great results!



13. Invest in yourself. There is no investment that will give better returns that investing in yourself. When you have a little financial skin in the game you are much more likely to seriously commit to something. What can you invest in to move you closer to reaching your goals this year? Look into hiring a life coach or executive coach, buy that new piece of software for your computer, get that new treadmill for your gym -- once you start putting your hard earned money towards achieving something you will be compelled to have a stronger commitment to succeed.



14. Create a morning routine. This is an area I personally will be working on in 2015 (along with many of the other things). As a self-proclaimed non-morning person, I know I needed a change. If you read or watched interviews from almost any ultra-successful people you will notice they all have structured morning routines. They vary from person to person, but the concept is the same. The have a routine they do to start their day each morning to set themselves up for success. It can include meditation, exercise, eating healthy, reviewing goals and much more -- whatever makes sense for you. Instead of hitting snooze in 2015, wake up and complete a morning routine that gets your mind and body ready for a great day.



15. Get an accountability partner. Lastly, find an accountability partner to share your goals and action plans with for 2015. This person should help motivate and inspire you, tell you when you are doing well and give you a kick in the butt when you need it. Your partner can be a spouse, friend or business partner, just make sure it is someone who will be sure to help keep you on track!



Wishing you a happy, prosperous and successful new year! Happy 2015!



I'd love to hear from you. Shoot me an email at Jenna@JennaAtkinsonConsulting.com to let me know what some of your goals for 2015 are and what action steps you plan to take to achieve them. What are some of the biggest hurdles you are going to face? Like my facebook page to get ongoing motivation and inspiration to make 2015 your most successful year yet!



About Jenna: Jenna is the President of Jenna Atkinson Consulting, a firm that specializes in creating actionable strategies for organizations to develop and engage their emerging leaders. She was recognized as one of InBusiness magazine's 40 Under 40 in 2014. She speaks, trains and consults with a wide range of organizations to help their employees reach the next level of success. For more tips on success, check out JennaAtkinsonConsulting.com.



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Forget Willpower -- Here's How to Make Your New Year's Resolution a Success

We had a RIDICULOUS amount of chocolate in the house over the holidays, and it was fast becoming a major food group for me. It didn't seem to matter how much I told myself not to eat it, that I was going to regret it later and tried to resist it, I couldn't stop eating it.



My willpower sucks.



And so does yours.



Everyone's does, and science shows it. Researchers have found that willpower is a lot like a muscle: It gets tired out and exhausted with repeated use. The more we use it, the less of it we have! [1]



Instead of using willpower for your New Year's resolution this year, there's another strategy that makes it much easier. In fact, it almost makes it automatic.



We're highly influenced by our environments. They subconsciously dictate how and where we move, in addition to how and what we eat -- and we're completely unaware of most of it. Environments full of food engineered to appeal to our primal taste buds and an endless array of labor saving devices quickly exhaust our willpower to eat less and move more.



So here's what I did to stop eating so much freakin' chocolate: I created an optimal default that set me up to not have to use willpower in the first place. I moved it all into the baking cupboard where I couldn't see and it where I never look. It has DRASTICALLY reduced how much chocolate I've eaten.



An optimal default is a small tweak to your environment that helps make behavior change automatic.




For example, research has shown that when we switch from a 12-inch dinner plate to a 10-inch one, we will eat 22 percent less food without being aware of it. [2] Use willpower to put or eat less food from a big plate, and we'll eventually succumb and eat more. But put less food on a smaller plate, and it tricks our brains into automatically eating less.



Here are a few more examples of optimal defaults:

• Drink from a taller, thinner glass. We will unknowingly pour more liquid into a short, wide glass -- up to 30 percent more. [3]


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• When having a meal, plate it out first then keep all serving bowls in one place while you eat in another. If you decide you want to stand up, walk over, and get a little more food, you'll know it's because you're truly not sated.


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• On the phone = on your feet. Whenever the phone rings it's your signal to get up and pace while talking.


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• Set your phone or computer with a reminder to get up and move several times during the day.


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• Shop from the perimeter of the grocery store to avoid processed foods.


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• Keep a stash of healthy snacks like nuts, nutrition bars, or whole grain crackers in the car, your briefcase or purse.


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• Turn off your TV. You'll be more active and skip all the commercials for fast and junk food.


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• Join a social group centered around exercise.

Microclimates full of optimal defaults make a desired behavior automatic. We suddenly find ourselves moving more, eating less, and reaping the benefits -- without thinking about it. We experience fewer negative side effects from stress, we've got better energy, we're more focused and productive, and we're happier.



References:



[1] McGonigal, Kelly. (2012) The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why it Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It. London: Penguin Group.



[2] Harvard Medical School. Healthbeat Newsletter. Controlling What - and How Much - We Eat. November 8, 2011.



[3] Wansink, B. Mindless Eating. 2006. Bantam Books.



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Finding the Gift in My Negative Thinking

When we give ourselves permission to open up to the idea that there is no right or wrong, we begin to see that purpose and meaning can be found all around us. Opening our mind to this way of perceiving the world allows us to find gifts in the most unexpected places if we are willing to look for them. One of these places includes the negative mind.



Is it really possible that a gift can show up in the form of negative thinking? I am here to tell you that it most certainly can. This has been my very own personal experience and I wouldn't take one moment back on my journey from darkness to bliss. How is it that swimming in my own sea of negativity became the catalyst to awakening my spirit? Let me explain.



For as far back as I can recall my thoughts revolved around two major themes that sounded like "life never works in my favor" and "I am not enough." Some of the more specific thoughts that played an obsessive role within these themes sounded like



"Life is unfair."

"Life is hard."

"I'm not smart enough."

"Nothing works out for me."

"I can't do anything right."

"I'm not deserving."

"Nobody listens to me."

"I'm not pretty enough."

"I'll never get there." (Wherever there is.)

"If I speak up, I will sound stupid."



And there are plenty more where those came from. The attachments I had to these thoughts were solid. These thoughts dictated who I thought I was and therefore, life continued to prove to me over and over again that these "negative thoughts" were indeed true. Without them, who would I be? It felt like life was handing me one big disappointment after another. It was dark. It was confusing. It was painfully agonizing.



So where could this gift be hiding?



Here is what I discovered about gifts that can be found, not just in my particular situation, but in all of the challenges that life hands us. They don't hide, but rather they show up in the darkness, the confusion and the pain. This darkness can lead us to destructiveness or bliss. We are given a choice, and thankfully I chose bliss. Finding the gift of bliss came out of my willingness to accept all that I was experiencing rather than judging it or making it wrong. From this place I was then able to make space to access the peace within me that enabled me to shift how I experienced life and thus witness miracles beyond what my mind could perceive.



According to research conducted by the National Science Foundation, the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. The more attached we are to them being true, the more they will create an emotional state within us. Because this is true, the more negative our thoughts are, the more uncomfortable we feel. In my experience, the more discomfort I felt, the more uncomfortable life felt. Thankfully, the more uncomfortable life became for me, the more I desired genuine inner peace. I found that the more I desire anything, the more I am willing to take action to create change. What I know for sure is that both my desire and my willingness to change my thinking and how I perceived myself ran deep. What I discovered was not just a sense of genuine inner peace within myself, but the realization that each and every one of us has this gift within us right here right now regardless of how our minds are speaking to us. I say the more negative and messy our mind is, the bigger chance there is of our world desiring to wake up and shine bright. As spiritual teacher, Debbie Ford states, "When you make peace with yourself, the world will mirror back this same level of peace." I believe this is possible for each and every one of us regardless of our fate. The key is that we must have the willingness within us that overpowers all other aspects of ourselves. We must be willing to shift our perceptions. We must be willing to see things differently. And yes, we must be willing to be wrong.



"The flower needs the mud out of which it grows" -- Eckhart Tolle



Just like a seed needs the mud to transform into a beautiful flower, we sometimes need the negativity of our conditioned mind to wake up and remember that our spirit has been with us all along.



I was gifted with an excessively intense negative mind that forced me to wake up to the present moment. Although my spirit would speak to me in quick, fleeting moments and say "this isn't the way it has to be" or "This negativity isn't really yours" the negative thoughts were so loud and persistent that I would just fall back into being who I thought I was. I realize today how lucky I was that I experienced so much pain.



Author Russ Harris says, "80 percent of everyone's thoughts contain some sort of negative content." As long as we are human we will experience negative thinking and pain will be attached to it if we are not consciously aware and know how to manage our thought process.



If you are to take just one nugget from my story please know this. No matter how you are currently feeling -- know that it is OK. I will never say "turn that frown upside down." That frown has meaning and purpose. That frown is trying to send you a message. Our emotions are our greatest allies if we would stop denying them and begin to love and care for them. They are always trying to communicate a message to us. It's just a matter of whether or not we will stop and allow ourselves to listen to them. Whatever thoughts you may be listening to in that mind of yours, know that each and every one of them come bearing gifts. Be with your thoughts and emotions and know you are right where you need to be in this moment.



Spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle states, "life will give you whatever experience is the most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness." Trust this powerful statement and know that you are always being guided. Sometimes this means experiencing what isn't serving you for as long as you need to in order for you to finally say "enough is enough, there must be another way." But guidance can't be received if we don't allow ourselves to fully engage with what is true in the moment.



"What you can't be with won't let you be." -- Debbie Ford



Even through our negative thinking, our spirit is guiding us to return home to the most powerful place of accepting all of what we are experiencing. It will give us the time and space needed until we are ready to surrender and let go. For now...all that is necessary is that you choose to find acceptance in the knowing that peace is already within you when you are ready to receive it.



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