Your Best Day Every Day: The Potential of Mindfulness

Imagine waking up to the best day of your life -- every day. No exception. That's the promise of ‪‎mindfulness‬.

Don't believe me?

• Did you know the Surgeon General of the United States meditates daily and considers mindfulness practice one of his four rules for health?
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I'm focusing on my emotional and mental well-being. For me, an important part of that is the meditation practice that I do every morning. It's a chance for me to center myself, a chance for me to remember who I want to be every day.
-- Vivek Murthy, 19th Surgeon General of the United States

• Did you know that the Chairman and CEO of Aetna, a Fortune 100 company with revenues of48 billion dollars last year, says meditation has allowed him to cope with daily excruciating pain in his arm after a 2004 ski accident?

I don't take any drugs or meds for it. I just deal with it in a different way. Being present in the moment. Understanding that pain is part of my journey ... Recovery is a state of mind. It's not just a physical practice. If you get your mind in the right place, you can almost doing anything.
-- Mark Bertolini, CEO Aetna, on CBS Good Morning

• Did you know that mindful focus on present awareness also heightens our sense of wonder and gratefulness? That's the conclusion of Jon Kabat-Zinn the founder of the modern, secular mindfulness movement and of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction training, which is offered at 700 hospitals worldwide:

The only time that any of us have to grow or change or feel anything or learn anything is in the present moment... If you hope to grow and strengthen wisdom and bring healing into your life, you have to at some point come to the realization that this moment is precious. And not only precious, but it's wonderful... It seems like in America there's really only one day a year that you're supposed to stop and be grateful for what it is that you actually have. The other 364 days you run around desperately trying to get more of what you don't have and push away what you don't want. What I'm suggesting is that we reverse that and start to really tune into the miraculous qualities of being alive. And instead of being on automatic pilot, see what would start to kindle the flame of being fully alive.
-- Jon Kabat-Zinn, on Bill Moyers documentary "Healing and the Mind"

And what is mindfulness exactly?

The Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts, which Kabat-Zinn co-founded, describes it as: "The intention to pay attention to each and every moment of our life, non-judgmentally."

A key word there is "intention." You see, mindfulness isn't about perfection or reaching some artificial standard. It starts -- and continues- - with the simple daily decision that you want to become aware of what's really going on in you and in your life. Once you're firm in that intention, you just need to make an authentic effort to wake up to what is. That's the practice, and it might be easier than you think. Some people do 45 minutes a day. Some do 10 minutes. But the duration is far less important than doing it regularly.

• Did you know mindfulness can free us from fear and anxiety? Professor Mark Williams is one of the co-founders of Mindful-Based Cognitive Theory which has been proven to help people protect against the recurrence of depression. Prof. Williams says we often live our lives based on inference, perceiving what we expect rather than sensing what is.
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Our moment to moment attention is governed by guesses of what's likely to happen - which we just confirm... When we're under stress and we are rushing around, we're actually trying to avoid something even though we think we are trying to get things done.... Mindfulness training is about waking up to the actual life we live. It's not trying to get somewhere based on fear. It's a way of discerning what our deepest values are and living in line with those values.
-- Professor Mark Williams, University of Oxford.

• Did you know mindfulness also leads to a sense of abundance in your life and to giving ? (And did you know giving is the source of all good things? I think so.)
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The source of all abundance is not outside you. It is part of who you are. However, start by acknowledging and recognizing abundance without. See the fullness of life all around you. The warmth of the sun on your skin, the display of magnificent flowers outside a florist's shop, biting into a succulent fruit, or getting soaked in an abundance of water falling from the sky. The fullness of life is there at every step. The acknowledgement of that abundance that is all around you awakens the dormant abundance within. Then let it flow out. When you smile at a stranger, there is already a minute outflow of energy. You become a giver.

Ask yourself often: What can I give here; how can I be of service to this person, this situation?
-- Eckart Tolle

Mindfulness has the potential to help everyone. It won't, of course. Not everyone will take the opportunity.

But anyone can.

Here's the deal. Most mindfulness practice starts with awareness of the breath. Which means no one living is excluded from its benefits. If you can breathe, you can find equanimity. If you can breathe, you can heal yourself. If you can breathe, you can change your life.

Consider doing this 60 second exercise. Take three breaths. Inhale and say "I breathe in healing." Exhale and say, "I breathe out gratefulness." Or just say "healing" on the in-breath and "thank you" on the out-breath.

Then wait. Say nothing. Just listen and feel. What was it like? If you do this three days in a row I bet you'll start to walk with a lighter step. The more you do it, (and if you get trained with a real teacher, not just an enthusiast like me), the better you will feel. Why? Because we choose our lives through how we pay attention. Health, healing and well-being all depend on our awareness.

So don't dilly-dally. Start the best day of your life today.

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Keys to Releasing Shame

All to often a trip down Memory Lane can take a left turn into shame, especially for those who are on a spiritual path. Spirituality tends to endorse higher expectations for behavior and can backfire into creating a hidden environment of shame. This unrealistic goal of perfection causes spiritual people to be haunted by their human past. Being human means being a part of an evolution of consciousness and being spiritual means being consciously dedicated to one's own human evolution. One gets wiser and able to understand consequences much more clearly as he or she evolves.

Decisions, choices and actions are always made based on the level of consciousness the person has at that specific time in his or her life. Because human consciousness evolves, the person is naturally going to make better choices in the future than in the past. Judging a past decision, choice or action through that higher level of awareness, which now is wiser, stronger and knows better, will always throw past actions into a poor light. It is easy to see how shame arises when one does not acknowledge that his or her consciousness has grown, shifted and changed as it continues to evolve.

Part of evolution is learning from mistakes. Instead of going into shame about a past experience, take the time to look at the lesson attached to the experience. Every use of poor judgment or unfortunate experience has a lesson somewhere. Find the lesson and then trace how you have used that lesson, or if it is a recent issue, how you can use that lesson in the future. Sometimes when a person's consciousness has not developed to be able to clearly see the lesson, the ability to see the action needed for future situations has also not developed. This is when poor responses arise. For example, if someone was taken advantage of in a relationship early in life, he or she may have decided not to trust anyone, rather than to simply be more aware of how his or her need for affection tended to make the person ignore intuitive red flags. So, from your current higher level of consciousness, take the time to go over the lessons you've learned. Look at what choices and decisions you made at the time and make sure your conclusions still make sense.

It can be helpful to imagine yourself making different choices given similar circumstances. In a safe place where you wont be disturbed, take a few deep breaths. Imagine a similar, if not the same, situation happening. See yourself making the choice that you wish you had. What action do you take now that creates a feeling of pride in your choice and leaves you feeling self-empowered? This is the choice you would have made if you had the level of consciousness and spiritual evolution that you have now. Take some time with this one and don't be afraid to imagine you are even braver or wiser than you feel.

When you can see yourself as human with a growing and evolving consciousness, you will understand that you made the best choices based on the level of conscious awareness you had at that time. Then you will be able to love your past self with all its mistakes and poor choices. The next time you take a left turn on Memory Lane, instead of going into shame, send loving energy to your younger self. See yourself making better choices today. Give yourself the credit for the growth you have made and allow your self the gift of evolution by learning from the past instead of judging it.

To recap, here are some key ways to release shame.

• Recognize that you have grown and so has your ability to make wiser choices.
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• See how much you have evolved and how you now make better decisions.
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• Find the lesson in the experience and see how you have put that lesson into action.
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• Re-evaluate past decisions you made that were based on the experience.
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• Visualize the situation you were in and see yourself take the action that you would now.
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• Send loving and understanding energy to your earlier self.

Most of all, remember you are a human being. You made mistakes; you will make mistakes again. That is good, mistakes are one way we learn and evolve. Looking back at your past with non-judgment is another way. When you go into self-judgment, don't judge the judgment. This too is human, learn from it and move on. Life is a series of actions and reactions. It is how we handle the reactions that determine our conscious evolution. You have the power to grow, so let the shame go.


Cindy Griffith-Bennett is author of Soul Soothers: Mini Meditations for Busy Lives and co-author of Voyage of Purpose: Spiritual Wisdom from Near Death back to Life. Cindy teaches meditation and other metaphysical workshops across the country. A frequent guest on television and radio, she recently finished her Masters thesis, examining a non religious-specific journey for spiritual maturity according to mystics from multiple traditions and is about to publish Grow your Spiritual Business with co-author, Lisa K. Find more about Cindy at SpiritualSimplicityBooks.com.

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Sweet Surrender: The Art of Going With the Flow

Two years ago I got an intuitive hit that I should write a book about awakening the goddess within. As I am a psychologist and body image expert, I ignored this little nudge from the universe. I mean who am I to write a book about working with your inner goddess (aka intuition)? I study body image and eating disorders. But this little nudge from the universe wouldn't go away. So I finally gave up and gave in.

I wrote that book and started an online community by the same name. My then-husband thought I was crazy, my friends thought I was crazy, my colleagues thought I had lost my marbles. But I did it anyway. And in making that one decision, I would unknowingly alter the course of my life.

In the six months that followed that decision to write a book about the goddess, I:

 Wrote that book
 Birthed two websites
 Got a divorce
 Moved
 Broke my heel for the second time in a year
 Went on sabbatical to write a different book
 Turned 40

In that short period of time, my life turned inside out and fell apart. As I watched all of this unfolding (at times it felt so surreal that it really did seem like I was but a pawn in my own life), I realized something: Even though I did honor my intuition and make those major life changes, it was with a one-foot-in-one-foot-out mentality. I worked myself to the bone to make all of that happen, but I didn't trust myself. I wasn't truly allowing things to unfold. I was fighting against the Universe kicking and screaming the whole time.

I know you're probably thinking, "How did that work out for you?"

You know the answer to that question. Not so well, thank you.

It took me another six months, but I finally got it. You can't fight against the Universe and expect to win -- or even keep your sanity! You know that saying, "Everything happens for a reason"? I used to roll my eyes when people said that. Now I smile and say, "Yes, it does."

And that's the beauty of life. Life doesn't happen to you; it happens for you. Just when you're ready to throw in the towel and give up, something happens that you never would have expected -- something that kicks you in the butt -- but that you needed to grow and evolve.

Sometimes the best things in life come from adversity, from not knowing that everything would be okay, but diving in anyway.

Sometimes you have lose everything to gain something more powerful than you could ever imagine.

I'm not saying that life's lessons don't hurt. Some of them sting like a bee, but underneath the pain, there is love, learning, the guidance you needed at the time and maybe didn't even know you were seeking.

I'm also not saying that I have it all figured out -- I don't. Universe continues to test me -- to give me the lessons I need just when I need them. They're not always fun, but I always emerge a stronger woman than I was before.

So here are a few questions for you: What is the Universe trying to tell you? What keeps showing up for you and won't go away? Are you fighting against this lesson or going with the flow?

Now onto the big question: Are you ready to make a change?

Change is scary. I know. I've been there. When I decided to write that book about the Goddess, I was plagued with self-doubt. Then a friend of mine said to me, "Thank your brain for getting you to where you are right now and then kindly tell it to shut up."

Um... yeah. Easier said than done. As soon as I decided to get out of my head and into my body, my brain rebelled and decided to work overtime to make sure I paid attention to it. But while my brain churned mindlessly like a hamster on a wheel, my body got tenser, tighter, and more wound up.

Until one day when I had enough. I decided to let go and ask the Universe for help. I looked up and said, "Okay universe, I want to heal, I want to find balance. Go do your thing!"

And it did. All I had to do was trust myself and the Universe and get out of my own way. What I learned from all of this is that when we make decisions from a place of fear or self-doubt, we will usually be led astray. But when we make decisions from a place of self-love, self-acceptance, and open communication with what our Soul truly desires, we make decisions that honor us.

Namaste.

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What Do You Notice in People?

What do you notice in people?

The Practice:
See the good in others.

Why?

Many interactions these days have a kind of bumper-car quality to them. At work, at home, on the telephone, via email: we sort of bounce off of each other while we exchange information, smile or frown, and move on. How often do we actually take the extra few seconds to get a sense of what's inside other people -- especially their good qualities?

In fact, because of what scientists call the brain's "negativity bias" (you could see my talk at Google for more on this), we're most likely to notice the bad qualities in others rather than the good ones: the things that worry or annoy us, or make us critical.

Unfortunately, if you feel surrounded by lots of bad or at best neutral qualities in others, and only a sprinkling of dimly-sensed good ones, then you naturally feel less supported, less safe, and less inclined to be generous or pursue your dreams. Plus, in a circular way, when another person gets the feeling that you don't really see much that's good in him or her, that person is less likely to take the time to see much that's good in you.

Seeing the good in others is thus a simple but very powerful way to feel happier and more confident, and become more loving and more productive in the world.

How?

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• Slow down -- Step out of the bumper car and spend a few moments being curious about the good qualities in the other person. You are not looking through rose-colored glasses: instead, you are opening your eyes, taking off the smog-colored glasses of the negativity bias, and seeing what the facts really are.
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• See positive intentions -- Recently I was at the dentist's, and her assistant told me a long story about her electric company. My mouth was full of cotton wads, and I didn't feel interested. But then I started noticing her underlying aims: to put me at ease, fill the time until she could pull the cotton out, and connect with each other as people. Maybe she could have pursued those aims in better ways. But the aims themselves were positive -- which is true of all fundamental wants even if the methods used to fulfill them have problems. For example, a toddler throwing mashed potatoes wants fun, a teenager dripping attitude wants higher status, and a mate who avoids housework wants leisure. Try to see the good intentions in the people around you. In particular, sense the longing to be happy in the heart of every person.
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• See abilities -- Going through school, I was very young and therefore routinely picked last for teams in PE: not good for a guy's self-esteem. Then, my first year at UCLA, I gave intramural touch football a try. We had a great quarterback who was too small for college football. After one practice, he told me in passing, "You're good and I'm going to throw to you." I was floored. But this was the beginning of me realizing that I was actually quite a good athlete. His recognition also made me play better which helped our team. Thirty-five years later I can still remember his comment. He had no idea of its impact, yet it was a major boost to my sense of worth. In the same way, unseen ripples spread far and wide when we see abilities in others -- especially if we acknowledge them openly.
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• See positive character traits -- Unless you're surrounded by deadbeats and sociopaths, everyone you know must have many virtues, such as determination, generosity, kindness, patience, energy, grit, honesty, fairness, or compassion. Take a moment to observe virtues in others. You could make a list of virtues in key people in your life -- even in people who are challenging for you!
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Last and not least: recognize that the good you see in others is also in you. You couldn't see that good if you did not have an inkling of what it was. You, too, have positive intentions, real abilities, and virtues of mind and heart. Those qualities are a fact, as much a fact as the chair you're sitting on. Take a moment to let that fact sink in. You don't need a halo to be a truly good person. You are a truly good person.

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, a Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and New York Times best-selling author. His books include Hardwiring Happiness (in 14 languages), Buddha's Brain (in 25 languages), Just One Thing (in 14 languages), and Mother Nurture. He edits the Wise Brain Bulletin and has several audio programs. A summa cum laude graduate of UCLA and founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, he's been an invited speaker at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and taught in meditation centers worldwide.

Dr. Hanson has been a trustee of Saybrook University and served on the board of Spirit Rock Meditation Center for nine years. His work has been featured on the BBC, CBS, and NPR, and he offers the free Just One Thing newsletter with over 100,000 subscribers, plus the online Foundations of Well-Being program in positive neuroplasticity.

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Mindfulness: The Making of Post-Heroic Leaders

In cooperation with our longstanding partner, Crowdrise, The Huffington Post is celebrating its 10 year anniversary by focusing on the promise of the next 10 years ahead. We're highlighting causes that are near and dear to our ethos -- causes where we believe meaningful strides can be made in the coming decade -- and empowering readers to act and take part. Join us!

By Tim Huang
Tim Huang is one of the 2012 Fellows at Dalai Lama Fellows from Stanford University, currently working with the King of Bhutan to develop their ethical and compassionate curriculum for the country wide elementary school system.




"Everything but the present moment is a concept."

"Listen deeply and trust your intuition."

"One hero is not sustainable. Let a community be a hero."

These phrases, spoken by elders and young change agents from around the world, paint a picture of the magic that happened at the 2013 Ethical Leadership Assembly (ELA) that I attended as a newly named Dalai Lama Fellow. The ELA is an annual convening and week-long learning community for the Dalai Lama Fellows, a global network of young social innovators working at the intersections of peace, justice, ecology.

As a Fellow who attended the ELA, I can say that it changed my life and the lives of my peers. Every moment of the ELA was grounded in His Holiness the Dalai Lama's contemplative values - mindfulness, compassion, and interdependence. Everyday, we walked together in nature, noticing our connection to the Earth and to each other. We meditated and learned various compassion-cultivation practices. We reflected and wrote in our journals about how our inner values can guide our social change work.

These mindful moments provided a remarkable foundation for our learning as we prepared to implement our individual Compassion-in-Action projects after the ELA. Alongside this inner work, we were provided with the practical tools that we needed. Elders and facilitators from all walks of life taught us about how to host listening conversations to build community, how to develop an awareness of whole systems to bring lasting change, and how to discern project impact through transparent collaborations.

Even more than the tools, the community that formed is what makes the Dalai Lama Fellows so special. Even though we hailed from Brazil, Ghana, India, Egypt, the USA, and many other countries, we quickly embraced each other across our differences to become lifelong friends and supporters. We practiced deep listening with one another, holding space for others to share stories and tears, vulnerably from the heart.

Slowly, I began to notice subtle shifts in my own leadership style. I was moving from hero to host, from leader to learner. The Dalai Lama Fellows calls this post-heroic leadership - letting go of the ego and inviting many voices across the system to collectively tap into their own resources and shared wisdom.

After the Ethical Leadership Assembly, I arrived in Bhutan, the country of my Compassion-in-Action project, inspired and empowered to serve. With the tools that I gained and the mindfulness practiced I integrated into my daily life, I began hosting conversations from the space of compassion and humility. I facilitated platforms for the youth of Bhutan to write a new story of change. Together, we launched a small youth-run social enterprise, a community cafe that employs and empowers underserved, out-of-school youth. The cafe trained unemployed youth in food preparation, hospitality, and business skills. It brought in a sustainable salary for the youth employees. We didn't have all the answers, so we built a coalition of dedicated partners, including the Bhutan Youth Development Fund, UNICEF, the Bhutan Ministry of Labour and Human Resources, and thriving Thimphu businesses.

By practicing mindfulness and deep listening, I held space for the youth to discover and harness their own potential. In turn, I saw their collective wisdom and their whole spirits come to life! They brought in new business by playing hip music and making the space welcoming to youth. They invited their friends to spend time at the cafe instead of on the streets. They re-invested cafe profit to run local youth outreach and environmental programs. Together, we formed a community built on trust and on a deep awareness of each other's gifts.

Today, all the original youth employees have taken their talents to Bhutan's growing hospitality and tourism industries. They continue to innovate and serve others mindfully. One of the youth employees Kelzang even started his own small restaurant with the skills that he gained. The profits from this restaurant will support a youth-run media production studio he's always dreamed of starting with his friends.

The seeds planted in us by the Dalai Lama Fellows have continued to grow, forming ripples of change in Bhutan and around the world. This gradual process has shown me that today's world does not need more heroes. It needs more hosts, grounded in universal human values, like contemplation, courage, and compassion. The Dalai Lama Fellows is meeting that need. This mindful organization is creating a new generation of young post-heroic leaders - activists, stewards, storytellers, healers, organizers, and innovators working collaboratively to build a world for all. Please join us on this journey!

	Supporting the causes that will shape the next decade
	Donate Now

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Change Can Be Invigorating!

All the signs were pointing to a reverberating YES!

After 12.5 years with the same employer, things began to shift for me.

The 50-mile, one-way, "not a big deal" commute seemed to ramp up in traffic jams. The slight shift in professional challenges seemed to leave me feeling unfulfilled. Work values that drove me to exceed expectations and be 100 percent engaged came up short.

Sustained friendships with my warm and friendly co-workers kept me from moving on to a new career opportunity. Familiarity, security and comfort were the anchor that attached me to this "work family."

New chapters are so difficult. Is it a fear of failure or success that grabs on and won't release? Did I want to ride and glide until I reached retirement or did I want to make a bigger impact in an organization that desired me to assist in striving for greatness?

As serendipity would have it, just when I was feeling "antsy," I was contacted by a recruiter for a position that was totally aligned with my career aspirations.

Through the interview process, I felt the light within me change from a flicker to a full blown bonfire! The connection with my potential boss and co-workers was INVIGORATING! Our interactions seemed relaxed, inspiring and authentic.

My inner voice heard all the affirmations that I share with my coaching clients... "Believe, Visualize and Achieve!" "Follow your heart!" "Reach your highest potential!" It was time to listen to my own advice.

After I gave my notice, my co-workers touched my heart with sincere well wishes. I realized that they all contributed to the person I had become personally and professionally. The memories we created together will stay within us... I, in my new endeavor and they, in their future journeys.

When you are in a crossroad situation, remember, "Take the leap into the uncharted waters. It can be INVIGORATING!"

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Are You Addicted to Judging Yourself?

"I'm such a jerk. How could I have said that?"
"I'm a loser. I'll never get anywhere."
"I'm so stupid. I should have learned this by now."
"I don't fit in. I don't belong with these people."
"I'll never be good enough. I'll never do it right."
"I'm permanently emotionally damaged. I'll never be okay."
"No one could love me. I'm not lovable."

... and on and on.

Are you aware of your self-judgments? Are you aware of how often you judge yourself as bad, wrong or inadequate? Are you aware of how you end up feeling as a result of your self-judgments?

In my counseling work with people, I find that self-judgment is one of the major causes of fear, anger, anxiety, depression, guilt and shame. Yet most people don't realize that these painful feelings are the result of their own thoughts, their own self-judgments. Most of the time, when I ask an anxious client why they are feeling anxious, they tell me that it's because of something that happened to them. They usually believe that an event or a person caused their anxiety. Yet when I ask them what they are thinking that might be causing their anxiety, they will tell me a self-judgment such as, "I'll never get this right," or they are projecting their own judgment onto me and telling themselves, "Margaret doesn't like me," or "Margaret is getting impatient with me." When they judge themselves or make up that I'm judging them, they get anxious. There is nothing actually happening that is causing their anxiety, other than their own thoughts.

Pointing out to them that they are causing their anxiety with their self-judgment doesn't necessarily stop the judgment. This is because self-judgment is often an addiction. An addiction is a habitual behavior that is intended to protect against pain. What is the pain that self-judgment is intended to protect against?

Generally, the hope of self-judgment is to protect against rejection and failure. The false beliefs are that, "If I judge myself, then others won't judge me and reject me. I can be safe from others' judgment by judging myself first," or "If I judge myself, I can motivate myself to do things right and succeed. Then I will feel safe and be loved and accepted by others."

However, just as a child does far better in school with encouragement than with criticism, so do we as adults. Criticism tends to scare and immobilize us. Instead of motivating us, it often creates so much anxiety that we get frozen and become unable to take appropriate action for ourselves. More self-judgment follows the lack of action, which results in more anxiety and immobilization, until we create a situation where we are completely stuck and miserable.

The way out of this is to practice becoming aware of the feelings of fear, anxiety, anger, depression, guilt or shame, and then asking yourself, "What did I just tell myself that is creating this feeling?" Once you become aware of the self-judgment, you can then ask yourself, "Am I certain that what I am telling myself is true?" If you are not 100 percent certain that what you are telling yourself is true, you can ask your inner wise self or a spiritual source of wisdom, "What is the truth?" If you are really open to learning about the truth, the truth will pop into your mind, and it will be much different than what you have been telling yourself.

For example, "I'm such a jerk. How could I have said that?" becomes "We all mess up at times. It's okay to make mistakes -- it's part of being human. Making a mistake does not mean you are a jerk." When we open to the truth, we will discover a kind and compassionate way of speaking to ourselves, a way that makes us feel loved and safe, rather than anxious, angry, depressed, guilty or shamed.

Addictions are always challenging to resolve, and an addiction to self-judgment is no exception. So be easy on yourself, and don't judge yourself for judging yourself! It will take time and dedication to become aware of your self-judgments and learn to be kind toward yourself, but the end result is so worth the effort!

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."

Take our free Inner Bonding eCourse at http://ift.tt/14zunOj.

Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.

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